choosing acceptance: letting go of what i cannot control

Life is filled with uncertain choices but learning to accept and surrender allows us to find peace in what we cannot control — a lesson learned on ikhlas.

This one lesson I’ve learned is that I always have a choice when making decisions. It often feels like there are two distinct paths: one that seems like the path of good, and another that feels like where I shouldn’t go. But is it really that simple?

Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), this lesson was one I learned during some of my hardest days. The paths that once seemed “wrong” often led me to unexpected personal growth, while other times those that appeared “right” came with hidden challenges (one that, at times, hit me even harder than I could have imagined).

So, how do I tame the sail and keep moving forward in between the uncertainty of each choice? I choose to go with the word of acceptance — or the way of life I might say, Ikhlas.

A word so familiar, one of the first I learned as a child, and yet it’s a word I continue to learn, over and over. At first, it feels simple, even trivial. It’s often spoken, taught in passing, as if it’s just another word. But for me, it’s THE big word, one that holds weight and meaning far beyond it seems.

The journey of acceptance, learning to let go, to truly surrender, has been long. It’s shaped by moments that often left me angry, rebellious, and resistant, moments where I simply couldn’t accept what was happening. I would fight against reality, holding on to my frustration, until one day, I began to realize: it was all so useless. I was pouring energy into things I couldn’t change, into things that already were what they were.

Acceptance, I’ve realized, does not mean giving up or being defeated. It means acknowledging things as they are without the need to be hostile. It is a quiet strength, a calm understanding that some things are beyond my control, and that is okay. Acceptance frees me from the burden of unnecessary struggle and allows me to focus on what I can change — my attitude, my perspective, and my response to life’s challenges. To be honest, acceptance has also changed who I am. I used to react quickly to moments or choices that didn’t sit right with me, but now I take time to pause, reflect on why it happens, and focus on the positive side. As a result, I’ve learned to manage my emotions better.

Slowly, I started to learn what it means to be “ikhlas.” I began to shift my prayers. I stopped asking for specific outcomes, and instead, I asked to be given whatever was best for me. That change — that simple yet powerful adjustment in perspective — made it easier for me to accept whatever came my way.

Now, when choices are uncertain, and results feel unpredictable, I remind myself: surrender, let God do the work. Trust that what comes is the best for me, even if I don’t fully understand it yet. And with that trust, I find it easier to release control, to let go, and to carry on with a heart that is lighter and open to whatever lies ahead.